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The 1997 events included the "big" and I mean big
weigh in on Sunday morning at the Serie crib.
Excitement and expectations were at an all time high as seven of United
Defense's largest men prepared to "mount" the official scale.
One by one they posted their official weights on the handsomely prepared (by
Large Al) official weigh-in board.
Some faces were glum, while others wore a smirk as though to say to the others,
"read 'em and weep, suckers."
In the end, three contestants made their weights with an astonishing total
weight loss of 155 lbs. Congratulations to the Howitzer, Large Al and Joelllll!
A special congrats goes out to the Howitzer, as he went from 238 lbs. down to
an astounding 191 lbs.!!!!! The only time I've seen him leaner was when he came
back from Ankara after two years of "chicken" and "goat."
The "farthest away" battle was hard fought between three of the most
unsuspecting participants; the Professor, Muscles and Pee Wee?! (These same
three had a bet on each other in the "can't do" auction.)
In the end the Professor proved that he is hard to beat at anything, including
lack of weight loss as he edged out both Pee Wee and Muscles by 5 lbs. Tough
competitor, that Professor!
The big winners of the bet money were; the French Maid who had a "lock" with
Howitzer, Large Al who took himself, and Muscles who had the Professor in the
"can't do" bet.
In the end, I think it was great fun and all participants are a little smaller
and a little "healthier," although it did raise havoc with the super
heavy-weight division of the scramble!
Other highlights included the "Three Musketeers" arriving at the Serie
residence about 8:25 a.m. looking for Bloody Marriages and hot caramel rolls!
After further investigation of their outfits, it was determined that it was
indeed Jaws, the Hamburglar and Halvorhooter. Never have I seen wilder outifts!
This year also included some heavy imbibing of the "drink" by a number of
individuals. Although the "8" drink limit seemed to curb the binge drinking,
certain individuals were evidently oblivious to the new rule change and one
proceeded to get flat out, stone cold, obnoxiously drunk on Sunday! The dinner
that this unnamed program manager was scheduled to eat was aggressively
devoured by a number of mouths, including Large Al, Pee Wee and others! Monday
morning dawned a quieter, gentler and almost comatose individual that the day
before had been so obnoxious, unruly and inebriated. The change was
unmistakenly appreciated by the group!
Another highlight this year included the new "Classic" course which proved to
be both challenging and rewarding. I think everyone was pleasantly surprised
how beautiful it was and all agreed it was worth every penny of the $45
There also proved to be some interesting golf "matches" during the weeekend. I
believe there were as many as four or five ties on Monday A.M. that resulted in
numerous tie breaker procedures. These unique procedures included Pee Wee and
Petey playing in from 200 yds. on hole #18. Pee Wee won and mysteriously Petey
advenced. Large Al and the Webmaster also broke the tie by drawing "high card,"
The championship flight on Monday also included a tie with the Red Shark and
Muscles playing three extra holes after Muscles double parred #18 and tied
Congratulations to Muscles as our new champion of the 1997 S.M.I.G.T!